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Drill Sergeants Share The Funniest Things They’ve Heard Recruits Say (24 Stories)

Drill Sergeants get a nasty wrap for being hard-ass, chilly, offended folks however they’re simply common people such as you and me (besides that they’ll undoubtedly kick some ass).

Much like parenting a goofy toddler, you’ve acquired to maintain a straight face and a stern demeanor even when your recruit says one thing completely hilarious.

Redditor u/Optimal-Wrangler2190 requested:

“Drill Sergeants, what’s the funniest thing a recruit has said?”

And, to everybody’s shock, there aren’t a ton of drill sergeants on Reddit however just a few have been keen to share some hilarious solutions together with the a few of these humorous recruits themselves.

Enjoy the 25 funniest issues recruits have mentioned to drill sergeants, in keeping with the folks of Reddit.


“Asked a private the difference between cover and concealment. Private said : “Drill Sergeant! You asked what seems like a very important question which I am supposed to know the answer. However this private was imagining not being called on, and was not paying attention to the question! Drill Sergeant !!” –kcsapper


“Marching the troops back to the barracks after lunch, I noticed a recruit with a white stain on his hip pocket. I halted the platoon and got in the recruits face. Me: “recruit, that white stain on your shirt better be because you are excited for this afternoons training” Recruit “no Sgt. I am saving my snack for later” Me: “what snack are you saving?” Recruit “ice cream” –jeep_rider


“I ordered the platoon to form up facing West. One troop asked, “Master corporal, our West or your West?” I simply walked away angrily and let his friends kind him out. I got here out of my workplace they usually have been dealing with East…” –busdriverjoe


“Recruit fired all his blank ammo during “ambush response” coaching. He crawled in ditch to reverse the place the aggressors have been, and began throwing rocks at them. DI got here working in center of the street blowing his whistle and screaming “what the fuck are you doing?’. Recruit screamed back,” throwing hand grenades drill sergeant.’ Without lacking a beat, the DI screamed “out fucking standing.” and walked away.” –odomotto


“Context: in army basic training, anything said to a drill sergeant needs to end with their title. Yes, drill sergeant. No, drill sergeant. So, early into basic our drill sergeant was handing out rifles. He asks my battle buddy for his serial number. Battle buddy rattles it off. So the drill sergeant, not having heard his title given, asks him “who the fuck do you think you’re speaking to? A drill sergeant? An asshole? A dickhead?” My buddy, realizing he forgot the title and now absolutely flustered goes to say “apologies, drill sergeant,” however as a substitute says “apologies, dickhead.” Both their eyes acquired vast on the identical time in completely alternative ways. The non-public realized he could not survive what comes subsequent. The drill sergeant is giddy with pleasure {that a} non-public simply referred to as him a dickhead to his face. Exercise ensued.” –Fight_Me_Mr_Tusk


“Recruit W is climbing the Stairway To Heaven which is a very tall ladder like structure and when he reaches the top he calls out to the Drill Instructor below:

“Sir! Recruit W requests permission to speak to Drill Instructor Sgt B, Sir!” The DI, Sgt B provides him permission to talk.

“Sir, this recruit can see his house from here Sir!”

The DI, Sgt B misplaced his composure and needed to chuckle out loud, and Recruit W needed to do some further push ups and bend and thrusts when he acquired off the impediment.” –FiredFox


“I feel bad for the guy but I gotta say it. His last name was Smellie. As in, “smelly”. So once I had him come into the category for the orientation/admin day the very first day, I ask everybody to face up and provides their rank, title, serial quantity. So once I heard “Private Smellie”, I misplaced it. I felt so dangerous for the man.” –BlackIsTheSoul


“We had a strict rule to write official documents with a blue pen. It is a NATO standard and has its excuses but all in all, it’s one of those things. I had checked about 200 lines of weapons check-outs and in’s when at the bottom of the page (it has 50 on one side of the page) there was one entry in black. As you would imagine I found out who it was pretty quickly. Given the entry had his name and weapon number staring right at me.

This absolute piece of twig and sap looks at me with the most uncanny look when i confronted him about it. After a bit of friendly banter in-front of his whole room i ask: “So what is your excuse for using black ink?”.

“Sir, i’ve yet to get the formal safety and usage training for the blue pen, sir!”

He rewrote all 100 entries in blue pen that night after being the one soldier to get coaching to make use of a blue pen as a substitute of a black one. But man. That was a particular second the place all of the muscle tissue in my face have been preventing to not chuckle.” –pikkmarg


“Fort Sill, OK 2002 (during my basic) DS is smoking us on the first day, playing “Who doesn’t want to be here? If you don’t want to be here, I don’t want you here. Just tell me and you can go home…” We’ve been in front-lean-and-rest for between 15 min – 2 years (give or take), when any individual raises their hand. DS was flustered for a second as a result of I don’t assume anybody had ever really been dumb sufficient to lift their hand. He goes and will get down in Private’s face and is screaming at him. Finally he says “Why don’t you want to be here?” I’ll always remember the response: “Drill Sergeant, this is not what my recruiter led me to believe this would be like. ” Only time I noticed the DS speechless.” –PhilKenSebin


“When I was in basic training, there was someone going through their locker in the middle of the night making hella noise. So one of the trainee’s sat up in bed and screamed “shut the fuck up!”. The particular person going by way of the locker was a drill teacher doing a random verify. The trainee who advised him to close the fuck up acquired ripped a brand new one, however the teacher was most likely dying laughing on the within. I don’t understand how they maintain a straight face.” –its_sydward